Cal Hewitt, Anna Mochar and Rue Corel pay an (undercover) visit to next-door college, Corpus - and give it a three-and-a-half-star verdict
Feels good to be bad
Whilst Pembroke is, of course, the friendliest college, Corpus restricts much of its grounds to college members only. As a result, it was necessary to go undercover as Corpus students in order to discover what this elusive college is truly like. Yet even then, we found that many destinations of our investigation, such as the hall, the NCR, the OCR (whatever one of those is), and the intriguingly named ‘Bacon Room’ were simply locked. Which left us thinking: does Corpus have something to hide?
Our investigative efforts were thwarted at every turn
However, we were pleasantly surprised by the aesthetics of this small and charming place. The intimate atmosphere made us feel so at home that our guilt at flouting the many signs placed to obstruct the progress of outsiders through the college quickly melted away. The grand and beautiful chapel was welcoming and rather luminous – unlike its counterparts at other colleges. Perhaps, though, we were simply drawn in by the sounds of an organist at practice. Were they trying to put us in a state of trance to tamper with our judgement? Ever wary, we decided to investigate further.
Who can be surprised that we found ourselves drawn in by this chapel?
Venturing into the corridors and staircases, it seems that Corpus does indeed have secrets - including its discrimination against tall people. Cal‘s head can testify that if you happen to be tall, Corpus is not the place for you.
Undeniable highlight of the visit? The pelican. Although sadly somewhat too high to engage in conversation.
The two small courts were endearing - with the exception of a building site that encompassed the majority of the larger. The purpose of construction – artistic or otherwise – remains unknown.
Cal smiles through the pain inflicted on our aesthetic sensibilities by this unsightly building site.
Within each court there were many small trees and bushes which added to the prettiness of the college, but which we soon found to be a serious health and safety hazard: both Anna and Rue walked into them and were in a state of shock after disentangling themselves from Corpus’ flora.
The pretty Old Court - plus hazardous greenery
We suppose that a true Corpus student learns quickly to navigate their way through such dangerous greenery. Our cover was blown and we made a quick escape past the suspicious building works. Corpus’ secrets are evidently well-guarded and we shall perhaps, in future, venture forth in another attempt to unearth them.