Freshers Rue Corel, Anna Mochar and Cal Hewitt venture across Trumpington Street to explore Peterhouse. Their verdict is not a good one.
Peterhouse is not what it seems. In fact, we are inclined to question whether it is actually a college or a great cover-up (more on that later).
In the space of a good hour we saw a grand total of six people, one of whom was a strange man in the graveyard. On our quest to discover more, we attempted to accost one of those who did cross our path with maybe a little too much enthusiasm, judging from the fact that he shoved in earphones and promptly ran away.
In the absence of any concrete testimony from Peterhouse members we were consequently forced to form our own opinion, which we shall now present.
1. Symmetry and prettiness
2. Cute Hall
3. Lovely herb garden
4. A magic portal
We were too scared to go any closer to this portal.
5. Deer park, but no deer
1. Asymmetry and ugliness
This is the sign that ruined the illusion for us. As did the ugly carpet.
2. Empty bar!
sad reacts only
3. Boring - nobody around
4. Spooky - an empty graveyard
Based on this evidence we are inclined to believe that the college so empty because all its members (and the deer) step through the magic portal and into a parallel universe. It seems probable that the ‘college’ was constructed to cover up this fact when the portal was first discovered in 1284.