A cautionary tale regarding the dangers of being too near the guacamole and corn chips at speech time.
The 1347 Committee’s freshers’ cocktails was slightly misleading given the closest one could come to a cocktail would be the maverick move of mixing the apple juice and white wine on offer together. Nevertheless, the cocktail misnomer was negated by the guacamole and corn chips on offer. It was near the guacamole and corn chips on the left hand corner of the refreshment table that I found myself hovering around during the part of the evening devoted to speeches– this was to prove fatal. I heard the siren song of the creamy avocado dip and misjudged the auditory power imbued in crunching on corn chips amidst an almost silent room. The hope that the crunch was only amplified in my head was a short lived one, dashed by the suppressed laughter of friends and acquaintances at my social faux-pas, betraying my Australian uncouthness exacerbated by a penchant for guacamole.